One of the greatest pleasures of growing older is the opportunity to get further and further away from the younger idiot you once were. Notice I say “opportunity” – this is by no means a given. The world is (VERY OBVIOUSLY!) filled with an overwhelming amount of assholes with absolutely no interest in taking a […]

I gotta hand it to Cruz del Sur – this label keeps taking me by surprise. Granted, this might be more to do with my apparent inability to just retain what is an obvious, unmistakable truth, but it seems like every time I venture into one of their new releases, I start off chuckling to […]

You ever find yourself faced with something that’s just unfathomably disgusting? You go reach into the back of the refrigerator and find a container of which it’s origin has been completely forgotten about… Is that Chinese food? When was the last time I even HAD Chinese food?! You know you shouldn’t open that lid. You […]

Hey, listen, far be it from me to criticize or question a band’s creative process. Artists are artists! Some bands can pump out new material every couple of years and avoid having it feel stale or overdone, and good for them! But others like to let things marinate, I mean really stew for years to […]

So here’s the thing – I’m going to come right out here and say that, in general, Black Metal isn’t really my favorite form of metal, let alone my strong suit. I know! I know. There’s a chance that a certain faction of our audience have already disregarded anything else I have to say on […]

I’m pretty sure everyone goes through some degree of a dinosaur phase during their childhood, right? I know I sure as shit went through a pretty big one. Look around long enough in my parents’ house and you’ll probably still stumble across some plastic dinosaur figurines, dinosaur bed sheets, probably a few books. Then at […]

Redemption can come in a lot of different forms. Maybe it’s a worker who was overlooked for a much-deserved promotion, who leaves goes on to find a better job in a better environment. Maybe it’s the closer who gave a up a game-winning home run to a bitter rival during the regular season, only to […]

Artist: Jesus Wept Filthy. JUST FRIGGIN’ FILTHY. Pull out the surgical tools, maybe tease out that hair? And strap in for this sleazy slab of Carcass-meets-Quiet Riot Death ‘n’ Roll that’s purpose built for sadistic fun. Detroit upstarts Jesus Wept have clearly being doing a lot of homework taking in and learning the ways of […]

This all could have all been so easy. Unleash the Archers has made a habit out of taking big leaps with every one of their releases throughout their young career. Yes – ideally, every band should get better with every record – but the exponential growth these guys have shown as musicians on every new […]

I swear to Christ. I don’t know what it is, but I just cannot seem to get enough of this whole NWOTHM thing going on right now (that’s New Wave of Traditional Heavy Metal, for those of you who don’t know or just hate inane acronyms). I guess it’s just the overall tongue-in-cheek, no-fucks-given attitude […]

It seems inevitable that by the end of every year, we’re all grateful to be moving on… uh, wait, this seems awfully familiar… Now is a good time to cozy up to the familiar sounds of yesteryear… man, why do I feel like I’ve already done this? Why is a band called Night boasting a […]

BEAR MACE! (Sorry, I’ve just been yelling that at any opportunity since finding these dudes. It’s fun). Look, I know I harp on this a lot, but my favorite metal usually comes from the bands who seem to be enjoying themselves the most (unless you’re Atilla. Just… no). I’m the buzzed dude in board shorts […]

Artist: Intoxicated I’m gonna start by apologizing for what is going to be a lot of backstory before I even get the review started in proper… but this is pretty fucking cool! So recently, I did a review of Witches’ KILLER new album The Fates. Not only was it a discovery of an album that […]

Let’s just go ahead and address the elephant in the room. THAT COVER. HOLY SHIT. Listen, I’m not afraid of indulging some full-on campy fantastical Power Metal tropes. Shit, I not only reviewed Victorius’ Space Ninjas From Hell earlier in the year, I loved it. So clearly, I’m in no way above nerding the fuck […]

Through every metal fad I’ve seen rise and fall over the years, I don’t think any swept me up so thoroughly in its current than the explosion of Folk Metal in the early/mid 2000’s. The mighty, but refreshingly upbeat and peppy sounds of bands like Finntroll and Turisas wormed their way into my ears and, […]

I’m so very happy, but I’M ALSO FUCKING PISSED. I’m happy as I always am any time I discover a new band I’ve never heard, especially one that falls in that sweet thrashy death wheelhouse that makes me all giddy and tingly inside. And I’m doubly happy to discover one that includes a female lead […]

Well, isn’t this just a barrel of rainbows and fucking unicorns? Scottish Hardcore rays of sunshine Razor Sharp Death Blizzard obviously aren’t mincing words about their current outlook on life. If it’s light-of-heart positivity and joy you’re looking for, just keep walking, friend – ‘cuz This shit is bleak. Like, BLEAK bleak. Somebody please give […]

I’m a big believer in being honest with yourself. Knowing who, and what you are (and just as importantly, aren’t) goes a long way towards helping you build a happy, successful life for yourself. That’s not to say that personal growth and exploring new things is by any means a bad thing or useless endeavor […]

I’ve been feeling a bit… contemplative, lately. Join the club, right? We’re all finding ourselves in a world that just sorta… isn’t the one we knew it to be. And all this time in quarantine has given everyone time to really think about their lives. Are you happy with the way that it’s going? Are […]

Jacob Bannon. Sean Martin. Mike McKenzie. Greg Weeks. Jon Rice. A musical collective combining parts of Converge, Wear Your Wounds, Twitching Tongues, Hatebreed, The Red Chord, Stomach Earth, Job For A Cowboy, and Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats together under one banner. So, rather than waste any more time talking about the checkered history of […]

Have you seen those “Gonna tell my kids this was…” memes? Here’s a pretty good one. Here’s another OK example. This one is just, well, perfect. Anyway, if SOMEHOW I make it through this shit show and haven’t been rendered impotent by nuclear fallout or Lysol injection or whatever other goddamn plague is waiting on […]

While it certainly never went away, the modern rise to prominence of the old-school Stockholm Death Metal sound is a welcome return for the world of extreme music. For me, those familiar buzzsaw tones and pummeling grooves are like being wrapped in a flannel blanket in front of an open fire, with a cup of […]

Nothing like a little world chaos and a global pandemic to really get the blood pumping, amiright?! Maybe it’s just the lingering threat of societal collapse talking, but I think crust and grindcore is really on the cusp of having a moment. It’s that raw mix of anxiety-ridden rage, irremovable pessimism, and willingness to watch […]

As I once said (not very long ago!), Tuomas Saukkonen is one goddamn busy dude. To me, Wolfheart’s first two releases, Winterborn and Shadow World, were absolute masterpieces – epic, emotive and creatively diverse albums the breathed new, inspiring life into a subgenre that was abandoned and left for dead, and put them nearly on […]

It seems inevitable that by the end of every year, we’re all grateful to be moving on to the next one, like the last year was just this stain on your existence you can’t wait to wash out. I certainly know that by the end of 2019, I was ready to dropkick that year into […]