While the prospect of a Kreator meets Carnal Forge or Dew Scented offspring has some appeal theoretically, its actual manifestation is far less promising. Hailing from Wolfsberg, Germany, Uppercut have taken the classic German thrash sound and spiced and tightened it up a bit with a sort of Swedish death/thrash razors edge, and like I said, while that prospect may sound promising, Uppercut simply don’t posses the necessary skills to make this anything more than a vaguely novelty listen. They can play there instruments, but that’s abut where it ends as the cacophony of new school meets throwback is no more than choppy repetitive riffs and a decided lack of dynamics or variety. There may be some appeal to old school thrashers, but with tighter more vicious options available to spend your hard earned dollar on, Uppercut seem more like limp wrested granny slap.

The guitars are crunchy, the rhythm section pulses adequately, but all to no avail, as the songs just fall completely flat. Characterless vocalist Dani Waletzky shifts from a total Mille worship to an ultra gruff shout – and trust me both lack any sense of personality, just a singular tone in each delivery. The lack of character filters from the vocal down through the music, as Uppercut slash and slice their way through 13 forgetful tracks-each as mindlessly bland as the last. From “clever” looping of opener “Massmurderers Heaven” that actually loops the riff from album closer “13,” the album just delivers uninspiring crunchy, occasionally breakneck death/thrash.

Even faster tracks like “Breakin’ the Noise,” “Fear” or “My Mirror” are lifeless shells of songs that lack the urgency of their Swedish contemporaries, let alone the energy and charisma of their archaic German idols. Slow chuggers “Stick it Out” and “Liberation” are somehow an excuse for Waletzky to suddenly adopt a deep Lemmy impersonation that’s comical.

I hate to come across as so indifferent about an album, but honestly I could have listened to static for 42 minutes and it have the same effect. Just pure blah, 13 times. A truly dull album, which should be avoided unless you are medically addicted to sub-standard thrash.

[Visit the band's website]

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