Do you like burgers? Of course you like burgers. Burgers are so great that vegans and vegetarians have been toiling away forever to create a viable meat substitute, just so they can still have burgers. That’s one of the best parts about burgers – the spectrum of possibilities for what a burger can be is practically infinite.

For example, I have little doubt that I can find a restaurant nearby with a super hipster waitstaff that’s serving, like, a dry-aged Kobe beef burger with locally-sourced, artisan-cured, applewood-smoked bacon; cave-aged farmhouse cheddar cheese; with truffle aioli on a house-made brioche bun. That burger will probably cost around $45. And you know what? I bet that burger is fucking delicious.

But sometimes? Sometimes I just want a half-pound of fatty-as-you-can-find ground beef, thrown on a grill, with a slice of American cheese straight out of the plastic wrapper. Hold that lettuce and tomato, Amigo – just slap that shit on a bun and stand back, ‘cuz we’re taking a trip on the express train to CHOW TOWN.

By now you’re thinking… well be honest, you’re thinking “Man, a burger sounds pretty good right now.” But you’re also thinking, “what the fuck does any of this have to do with metal?” I know I’m new here but bear with me.

See, the thing about that simple meat-and-cheese burger that’s so great, is that it takes the basic, essential elements of a burger, and it lets them shine through. No fuss, no layered flavor profiles or nuanced texture elements; just the stuff you know and love.

My friends, that’s exactly what Granite State bringers-of-ruckus Scissorfight have serving up for 25 years now. Raw, heavy, un-fucked-with metal and hard rock made for anyone looking for a goddamn good time.

The main ingredient on Doomus Abruptus, Vol. 1 is pretty much the same as it’s always been for these guys: RIFFS. Big, groovy, burly riffs designed to put hair on your chest and mud on your tires. After the chugging album opener “Caveman Television,” Fortin opens the taps and puts the pedal to the metal on “Dumpfight,” an aggressive, bloody-knuckled track that gets the party started in earnest – complete with a breakdown that’ll have you pumping your fist, banging your head and looking for a fight of your own.

On “Coagulus” and “Rock And / Or Die,” the band settles into a heavy, sludgy groove that will would make Pepper Keenan blush. “Where Eagles Drink” was made to blast from your truck speakers at a bonfire kegger. I’m no legal expert, but I’m pretty sure listening to that song without a PBR in hand is breaking some obscure New Hampshire bylaw. I wouldn’t risk it. After taking a little bit of a breather on “The Battle of (Mudhole Mountain),” Scissorfight hit the gas again, rounding out the album with a balls-out attack that doesn’t let up ‘til the final note.

This album also answers a big question lingering for a lot of long-time fans, being the first full-length release with vocalist Doug Aubin: Is he really a worthy replacement for legendary former songwriter and frontman, Ironlung? Friends, he doesn’t give you the time of day to think about it. Aubin delivers a confident, barrel-chested performance with a gruff attitude that suggests he’s not even remotely interested in how you compare him to his predecessor. His songwriting has many of the same tongue-in-cheek, backwoods-loving qualities that made Ironlung’s songs so charming and memorable, but delivered with a much more straight-forward, “get on this ride or get out of my way” confidence that can only come from a guy who knows very little of what it’s like to be intimidated (seriously, go check out a picture of the dude. He’s a damn tree).  I can’t imagine the band having found a better fit.

Though they’ve never quite gotten a following the likes of similar bands like Clutch, Corrosion of Conformity or Alabama Thunderpussy, Scissorfight are still delivering the goods with equal quality and swagger, with the kind of salt n’ piss you’ve come to expect. By keeping things simple and relying on the tried and true ingredients that have kept these guys cooking for over two and a half decades, they’ve added yet another fun, raucous record to their collection sure to satisfy anyone feeling hungry for riffs and general fuckery.

Somebody get me a goddamn beer.

[Visit the band's website]

---

Comments