I’m not sure if there are any real porn stars in this band, but I feel pretty safe in saying there probably aren’t any real poets when the best chorus they can come up with for the record opener is the tired, “it’s just rock ‘n’ roll to me,” that’s been used at least a million times in different variations.

That’s really the feel I get off this whole record. Tired. Poets & Pornstars picks up that retro 1970s rock vibe mixed with just a touch of 1980s sound that’s been tried by a number of bands in recent years, most notably Buckcherry. The real problem is that these bands have copped their sound from great bands whose songs have become part of rock ‘n’ roll history – Aerosmith, the Stones, T-Rex. You’ve got to write some pretty damned solid songs to compete with those guys. “Crazy Bitch” just ain’t cutting it. While Poets & Pornstars don’t use their music as an excuse to spew juvenile profanities like sound-alikes Buckcherry, musically it doesn’t rise much above that.

It’s not that the music here is necessarily bad. It’s just that I’ve heard every tune here before – many, many times. Among the 10 songs here, there’s not really a moment that makes me take note of the band. There are some OK songs, like “My Devil’s Song (Sexwinewomensongsugarmagicmoney)” and the loungy groove of the opening of “Partners in Crime.” But at the end of the day, I’ve heard it all done before and better.

Poets & Pornstars is the kind of record that you wouldn’t mind if you were at a party where no one’s really paying attention to the music except the drunk chick dancing on the table. If you actually have to listen to the music, though, the bands that they’re copying would be much better options.

[Visit the band's website]

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