CONFIDENTIAL INTAKE REPORT, RHODE ISLAND STATE MENTAL HOSPITAL:

Presiding psychiatrist:  Dr. Paul Fritz

Examination Notes:

At approximately 19:00 hours on Nov. 16, 2009, three subjects without any names or aliases other than White Mice were presented for psychiatric examination. The subjects were discovered in a small house in Providence, R.I., after neighbors complained of noxious odors and bizarre noises throughout the night and fecal matter around the property.

Police described the home as filthy and disorganized. Hidden scraps of food and trash were tucked underneath shredded copies of magazines with titles including “Kerrang,” “Metal Hammer,” “Rodent Fancy,” and pornography. Subject A was nibbling on a two-year old Snickers bar in the corner of the living room; Subject B was strumming a guitar (badly) on a broken amplifier in the basement; Subject C was hoarding trash. Subjects were immediately tasered, remanded to police and placed for overnight psychiatric observation next to patient Glen Benton, who was recently admitted after claiming to see Bigfoot.

The subjects were interviewed and appear to have minimal understanding of English or any human language. Throughout a six-hour query, subjects became alert only twice: when presented with a bowl of kibble and later when shown a photo of Motorhead frontman Lemmy Kilmister during cognitive testing. Subject A tried to gnaw off his shackled leg while Subjects B and C flailed like epileptics during the examination.

Also presented during the examination was an album the subjects produced while living in squalor titled Ganjahovadose. First, let me note my credentials: I have studied divergent musical cultures and drug-influenced music during my psychiatric career and have more than a passing familiarity with what is called “underground metal.”  I have also served as an expert jury witness for prosecutors working to permanently place such underground musicians in secure mental health facilities.

This album fits within that broad category although it is even divergent and radical for that genre.  The album is a blinding wall of noise, feedback and guitar static, metronomic drumming and samples. Listening to the entire album in one sitting is only recommended for psychically strong as the sounds contained within are primitive yet insidious. The third track “The Hard On Of Edam,” has a repetitive riff with an almost bludgeoning effect and vocals that sound like a horror-film version of Satan. One track titled “The Crapture,” contains a blinding array of disjointed sounds and hence produces an almost hypnotic effect.  The artwork features Christian religious iconography defaced by illustrations of mice and Biblical passages with references to rodents throughout; the artwork is likely the work of a paranoid schizophrenic.  In the broadest terms, this music would – using terms familiar to the subculture – be called noise or experimental. After listening to the album twice I admitted myself for optional staff therapy.

Recommendation: The subjects known as the White Mice should be given a paralyzing dose of Haldol and/or Thorazine and affixed to human-sized glue traps, then left to flail in solitary confinement. All three are extremely dangerous.

Forwarding album Ganjahovadose to Central Intelligence Headquarters, Langley, Va., for use during LSD mind experiments and Guantanamo interrogations.

[Visit the band's website]

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