The introduction for an album by a band called Rancid Taint Discharge writes itself, but I’m an incredibly serious reviewer. I don’t have time for such childish musings (pushes up glasses). What you’re going to get here is the well-read, researched point of a view of a wise, learned man. So, let’s get right into it.

The first track on The Taste of Love (WAIT! Is he referring to semen?) is charmingly and sexily titled “There’s No Pie Like Grandma’s Creampie.” It wastes no time getting going with what sounds like a metalcore riff beginning, but that thought is over very quickly as the first growl hits, then we’re bombarded with warp speed electronic drums. It almost sounds like some house music for a moment until those brutal slam vocals take over. There’s a guitar melody in there, too, but it goes into the background for… Synths? All of this in under 2 minutes and the vocals are so buried we don’t even get to really hear how much the vocalist’s grandmother means to him. I bet a lot since the song was named for her.

Perhaps also named for his grandma, “A Fucking Piece Of Fuckmeat” proves they can play their guitar (almost) as fast as the electronic drums. A couple of minutes in, the track slows into a bit of a groove, if one can call it that because the drums are still going hyper speed. Some synths pop up, along with another riff, then a tease of a guitar lead as the vocals emanate from the sewer. A quick solo does pop up near the end of the track. A bit of a military style march ends the track with a synth backdrop. I don’t know what the hell is going on at this point. I’m not sure if I mean that in an orgy type of way or a “waking up still drunk in a strange house” type of way.

Maybe I don’t want to know what the hell is going on. If it wasn’t clear above, it should be no surprise music like this can seem a little “cartoony” or like it was meant for a video game. If you don’t think “Hambeast Banshee,” especially the intro, sounds like it could be from a 90s fighting game or even Gran Turismo, I would be willing to bet your childhood wasn’t much fun. Along those same lines, “Sexual Mutilation” sounds like you’re fighting the boss in an old NES game with Berzerker providing the soundtrack.

Yeah, I’m going to talk about “Fisting is Business… And Business Is Good.” What’s wrong with talking about a man who clearly has a successful business venture of which he’s proud? Dave Mustaine would be proud. The song itself has a discernible groove. There’s of course a synth presence, but it’s definitely more subdued than in other parts of the album.

That’s saying something because I’m not entirely sure Rancid Taint Discharge want “subdued” to be in their vocabulary. This is proven by the bpm on the electronic drums in the closing track, “Hot Pot.” It does slow down for maybe half a second before the gurgles from inside Satan’s butthole return to the fore. Then, just like that, the album is over.

At the conclusion of the album, I want to extend my deepest gratitude to Rancid Taint Discharge for bringing to light and being the positive voice for such an embarrassing affliction. We sufferers have lived with these symptoms in silence for so long. It’s time we… I mean “they (I don’t)” finally have a voice…

I kid (maybe). When it comes to the music, this is definitely a fun album, but one that may wear out its welcome quite quickly. Sure, it’s quirky and it has a lot to offer. Such as, I’ve never heard this style of music incorporate synths so well. However, the constant barrage of the hyper speed electronic drums can be exhausting. There’s very little reprieve from that. This album is definitely a lot of fun and I’m sure that was the point, though. My only complaint lies on the drums side. Maybe get a human next time… or maybe not. Anaal Nathrakh seems to do well without one.

[Visit the band's website]

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